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Welcome to the fold...

"And if I don't see you later good afternoon, good evening and goodnight!"

This post has been edited.

Baka baka baka!
In our wonderful little shithole that is Utah we've created a new society that communicates through bastardized words that have lost all meaning and semblance of what they once were. Of what do I speak? I affectionately refer to it as "utah-nese". After all, this is one of the few places in the world where you can have a true amalgam of ethnicities coexist. They actually do so peacefully part of the time! We're just so fucking cool, aren't we?

Now you have phrases like "howdy yall niggas!" and "wutch yu talkin' bout homie?". Welcome to my life. Okay, so that's a bit of an allegory, allusion, hyperbole or whatever the hell you want to call it. But walk through the local underage whore's sellin' post (old-school hick reference) and you'll see 14 year old girls wearing pounds of makeup and hairspray and more perfume than clothes shouting phrases at eachother like "wutch you talkin bout bitch! that thar's my man, g girl!"

I shit you not.

Ah, gamers.
I'm saddened to say that we'll all be mourning the passage of a current GameStop employee soon. Yes, he's going to die. Why you ask? Well it would seem that he's recently told one of my good friends that the PS3 will not be backwards compatible, that the revolution will not have access to old NES, SNES and N64 games and that the xBox is the king of all gaming platforms, PC/MAC included. What a horrible way to die: me shoving your beloved xBox 360 sideways up your ass, cords and controllers included.

You see children people like this young man are called morons. Morons are a curse put on this world by God to see just how long I could go without killing one. So far my self control has gotten me through 24 years, give or take a week. But my patience wears thin; Pam Anderson's tits in a latex glove thin. I'm afraid that I'm just going to have to go on a killing spree.

Happy happy joy joy
I have good news for once! It would seem that my life of shit has a creamy center full of stuff that tastes like shut but sure looks better. Here we go, counting down the top five reasons my week doesn't totally suck ass:

#5: Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex gets another season! The official title is GITS:SAC Solid State Society and it will be showcased at the Tokyo Anime Fair in April.

#4: I went to the mall this weekend to pick up a book from my absolute favorite comic shop. There, a full two months earlier than it was supposed to be, was Intron Depot 4: Bullets, a book I've been waiting for for God knows how long (which means about two years). Now I have the whole ID collection. ^_^

#3: The Power Puff Girls Doujinshi has a new game written by a Bleedman fan.

#2: I've started downloading all of my media again since Motoko crashed.

And the number one reason my week didn't totally bite Goron ass: I've finally gone and picked up my first console! Believe it or not I've never bought a console in my life. My Ataris were gifts, as was my NES, the PSOne is actually my brothers and Baren owns the PS2, I just use it.


Well, isn't that a good way to end hump day?

Closing links
New thing here that I'll try to keep up. I'm going to start providing you with links. Links to cool shit. Just a few at a time though (don't want your brains to explode with all of the goodies you know).
http://www.ic#code.net
http://www.jlist.com
http://darknessbunnies.blogspot.com (yeah, I know, it's already here... blah fucking blah)

"And to the unwashed asses I bid a fond farewell
for the next time we meet I'll be kicking your ass in hell."

1 comment:

  1. I hope the so called "gammer" at Game Stop has a slow and painfull death.

    ReplyDelete

Flamers will be neutered, pulverized, drawn and quartered and their heads will become my next hood ornament while their bodies will be burned and the ashes thrown in to my personal portal to the 7th level of Hell.